group hug for the teenagers.

today marks the day i am no longer a teenager. i’m thrilled, mainly because people can no longer pull the teenager card. you know, the one where you express any emotion a little too fiercely, & every adult in the room goes “oh, teenagers“. or when you’re trying to have a serious conversation with an adult about something you consider a crisis & they ever so condescendingly say, “you don’t happen to be a teenager do you?” …grr.

i never really understood why “grown-ups” were so cruel to teenagers. i mean, i know we could be dramatic & emotional creatures, but hey, you probably were too when you were a teenager, cause we have our reasons.

i suppose different teenagers go through different experiences, but one thing is for sure for all teenagers. the choices you make during those 7 years are choices that will actually affect the rest of your life. so go ahead & mock us. “teenagers. everything is so apocalyptic.” (kami garcia.) i know you definitely were being pretentious there, but here’s the deal. in today’s society, when you enter high school, you are all of the sudden expected to know who you are, who you want to be, & what you want to do with the rest of your life. feeling the pressure? the choices you make academically will not only affect your opportunities in high school, but will determine what kind of colleges you can get into, & what kind of scholarships you can receive. yep, walking into high school as a freshman & you automatically need to be focusing on college. but wait, you also need to choose what you want to do for the rest of your life, because you need to begin building your experience outside of school. extracurriculars are what colleges look for, so make sure you know your exact work-field you’re going to go into, so you can start internships & volunteer work right now. hah. sounds like teenagers are forced to be adults, right?

& perhaps they are forced to make adult decisions about their future lives, & have the looming fear that every choice they make will affect every opportunity in their future, but on top of all that, we are treated like children. oh yes, even at 19, people will still tell you that you are not “officially” an adult & make condescending jokes. you are forced to make decisions that will affect the rest of your life, but won’t truly be free to make those decisions without an adults approval. you are told to figure out who you are & want to be, while also being told who you should be & who you have to be. you are told to be original, stand out, don’t follow the crowd, & have your own ideas, but then told to follow the rules, submit to authority, & stop asking so many questions. & as said by the brilliant johnny depp, “the problem is that everybody treats teenagers like they’re stupid.” while at the same time, expecting them to know everything! being a teenager or being a living contradiction?

in addition, these 7 years will probably be the years in which you experience some of the highest highs & lowest lows. you will probably have a lot of adults tell you that the wide variety of emotions you feel is totally invalid, which is ridiculous. the gauntlet of scenarios & emotional stress you will go through as a teen is overwhelming. which is why around 20% of young people are suffering from depression and/or anxiety. personally, a statistic that kills me is knowing that almost half of sexual assault victims are under 18 (44%). so an entire generation is experiencing a ton of crap, & yet, society still frowns upon them & portrays this message that until they are no longer teens, they won’t be taken seriously.

i’m not making this point to rant or make some stink about how i was treated as a teenager. really, that’s not my intent. i really just want to put it out there that being a teenager was really difficult for me, & is equally as difficult for all teens. self-harm, eating disorders, relationship abuse, internet bullying, depression, anxiety, running away… it’s all significantly increasing, especially with this most recent generation. so why are we so cruel to teenagers? some of my peers are already making fun of the generation after us. but i feel that if we constantly de-validate an entire generation for just being the age that they are, we really won’t succeed in anything but creating an even worse-off generation than we were.

so. long rant made short? HEY YOU TEENS. here is a big, huge, jumbo-sized group hug.

i am so sorry for all the crap you are probably going through, & all the confusion, & all the emotions. but you are valid. you are relevant. you are smart. you have ideas that could change the world. you are capable of complex thought & emotion. you are honestly capable of anything you set your mind to! so don’t let any of the stinky old grown ups get you down. (respect them… just don’t let them cramp your style.) i’ll do my part as an “old lady” now, to make sure & cultivate an environment of love & support for you guys. when going through such a rough time of life, you deserve to be more than tolerated.

& that’s it! that’s my ramble for the teenagers out there.

here’s to my twenties & all that they will hold.

love & hugs,

meredith.

 

 

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homeware haul.

before i start the post, want to say a little thank you to the well wishes i received after last blog post. i’m so thankful for our tiny community. bless you all! now let’s get to blogging:


so, i have an obsession with homeware. only problem? i don’t have a home. i mean, there’s my parent’s place & my quaint dorm room, it’s not like i don’t have a place to abide. i just mean i don’t have my own house to fill with my own items of my choosing. does that stop me from buying all the cute homeware i see? the answer would be nope-ity nope. but hey, that’s good for y’all, cause that means you get a blog post displaying all my pre-maturely bought homeware items!! woohoo!

please tell me i’m not the only one who collects homeware for their future home… homeware addicts anonymous? anyone?

i suppose there is a great comfort in knowing i’ll have everything we’ll need when we start our homely home in the future. well, not everything. because the love bug did encourage me to refrain from buying the copper bowl set & wooden utensils i saw this past week… guess we’ll just get those later! for now, i’ll just show ya my favorite homeware items i’ve allowed myself to purchase so far.

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i’m going to refrain from typing in all capital letters right now, because this is probably my most favorite purchase. if you know me, you know i have a profound obsession with marble. it manifested when i began studying it in art history, & now i want everything i own to be white marble. i also love anything wooden, so the combination of the two on a cheese plate made me so elated. i grabbed it for 3 bucks at tjmaxx, & when i went to the checkout, the lady looked at me & asked “so what exactly is this even for?” i just chucked & said, lady, it’s marble & wood, so i’m just buying it cause it’s pretty.

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but seriously just look at it!!! it’s gorgeous!!! gimme some cheese, cause i got a pretty cheese plate!

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next up, this copper moscow mule mug. i’ve been wanting one for the longest time. i have a new obsession with copper, & i absolutely adore hammered metal. i just think this mug is so elegant. they’re usually pretty expensive, but my best friend michaels was having a sale so i got this for a reasonable price. some day when i have some amount of money more than i have now, i’ll buy myself an entire set & drink my coffee feelin’ fancy.

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i don’t know if this really counts as homeware, but i wanted to show you anyway. i grabbed this from tuesday morning, (a store that is so dangerous to me because i want to purchase everything) & i love it. i think it’s technically a jewelry case? but i’m probably just going to use it for knick knacks. i bought it not only because i love the type & the ampersand, but because i have a love for the word baubles. ever since i was little i’ve had this adoration of the UK. & when you combine the fact that i spend most of my free time watching british youtubers or british television, & the fact that my bestest gal pal now lives in the UK, i’m like a pro in british-speak. i have a list of everything i love that they say, including calling trash cans “rubbish bins”, & calling christmas ornaments “baubles”. i was really thrilled over the holidays when i found a christmas elf name generator & i was named “gingerbread jinglebaubles”. doesn’t that just have the most hilarious ring to it? anywhoo. long rant, point being, i like the world baubles, so i bought this pouch.

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so i really like candles of all kind. i was walking through a store with fancy candles once, & just thought to myself… “i wish i was rich, for the sole purpose of buying a ton of fancy candles.” candles are just great. what’s also great are candle holders. this has to be the most gorgeous candle holder, but i’m not really quite sure if you’re allowed to put a real fire burning candle inside? so just in case, i bought one of those tea lights & plopped it inside.

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it’s the most gorgeous coppery blushed color. i think it’s supposed to be a lotus flower? & when the tea light is on, you can see the light flickering through the petals. it’s just so pretty. plus the love bug said he saw it used on fixer upper, aka my favorite HGTV show, so that made me love it even more. any of you guys like fixer upper?

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when i said i had a new obsession with copper, i wasn’t joking. now every time i see something copper, i want it. which is basically what happened at michaels when i saw this copper mason jar. i mean, two of my favorite things! i was like, i can’t not get this, which is totally solid logic, right?

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my future home will probably be covered in mason jars. i already have like 10 ready to go.

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last but not least, this here yellow ramekin. now, this may have been my silliest purchase because i have absolutely no idea what you use ramekins like this for? perhaps just to fill with chocolate covered coffee beans or to fill with salt or seasonings? it may even end up holding a plant or my paperclips, who knows. all i know is that it was very cute & small & yellow & very inexpensive at tuesday morning.

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so now, someday, when i have my house that i can fill with all the homeware i’ve collected, it’ll be complete with a tiny yellow ramekin. & all will be well.


 

hope you all enjoyed today’s post & let me know in the comments which homeware item was your favorite!

i also wanted to make sure y’all know where else you can find me on the interwebs. while i do have the links on the side bar of this website… just as a reminder:

i’m now on twitter!! i try & post frequently… @craftedfragment

i’m on instagram, & i posted a little video of the lotus flower from this post… @craftedfragments

i’m also on facebook & pinterest! check the sidebar for the info.

love & hugs,

meredith.

let’s get real.

so i’m genuinely just sitting down to write with no idea what i’m going to say. i’m guessing this post is just going to be a lot of word vomit. sorry in advance.

i know i haven’t written in a while. if i’m just going to be blatantly honest, it’s because i feel like crap. actually, scratch that. i feel worse than crap. i’ve had a lot of posts i’ve wanted to post, but they’re such happy posts & i don’t have a lot of happy within me right now. in fact, i mostly started writing this post to distract me from the fact that i was crying  & that the only thought running thorough my head was “i can’t do this anymore.” which is really sad. because that’s a really depressing thought.

i used to struggle with severe depression, & in the last year managed to overcome it. it was mainly based in a feeling of worthlessness & self hatred, due to the people in my life & my relationships with them. i worked extremely hard at it & had to choose every single day to wake up & challenge those feelings. i had to sever friendships. i had to alter relationships. i had to put myself first. & i had to choose to believe i was worth loving. i’m so proud of myself for that journey, & for being in a place today where i am much nicer to myself & can say that i am worth love & respect. loving others actually starts with loving yourself, & i’m so glad to be in a mindset where i can pour out love for others while still treating myself with love.

however, i’ve been encountering a new kind of sadness. & it comes from the fact that i am a very ill person. despite the fact that i do everything in my power to stay well, from getting a good amount of sleep, to drinking endless amounts of water a day, to eating well balanced meals, to taking countless vitamins & supplements… i am always sick. nope, not being dramatic. i’ve been sick this entire month. & pretty much all of last year. & a good chunk of my life. hashtag, i’m chronically ill. & what’s more is that i am also always injured. for example, i began my college career as a music major, to then injure my voice & no longer be able to sing. i then switched to an art major, which became not only a major but truly a therapy to me. alas, now i have tendonitis in both my arms, which inhibits me from really working with my hands as much as i’d like. & yes, that even means it keeps me from blogging as much. so, all of my outlets for stress & sadness have been taken away. & as i’m currently laying in bed, spending the last week with tonsillitis & pharyngitis, & now suffering from just a regular ole’ cold, i’m blooming depressed.

so not fair! i mean, didn’t i totally just conquer depression? isn’t it time for me to get a break now? no? oh. okay. & that’s just it. it doesn’t end. ya see, my birthday is in a week, & i really could care less. in fact, i’m dreading it. i don’t really want to celebrate my life, because at this point, i’m not really living it. i’m merely surviving. suffering through each illness & injury & major crisis that faces me. i don’t remember the last time i wasn’t in pain. so, no, a day dedicated to celebrate another year of life is not something i’m looking forward to, because i am not looking forward to another year of pain, sickness, & misery.

i know, i know, woah mere. dramatic much? where’s the happy go lucky girl that usually posts on here? right? sorry. i really am sorry. because this is reality. this is how my life is, & has been for years & years. it’s hard not to feel like one big burden of a human. & it’s hard to be real with people. because this is all stuff i would never say to my friends. to my friends, i would smile & say “i’ll get through it!”, or make a joke about how isn’t it funny that i’m sick AGAIN, i mean wasn’t it just last week i got over the flu?  if i were emailing my teachers, i’d be apologizing profusely for being an inconvenience & promising i’ll somehow get all the work done despite missing a month of class. & if i were posting on here, i’d be distracting myself with stationary & homeware hauls. well, here’s your first raw post! a day in the life of mere!

in conclusion, i don’t really know why i made this post. i guess i was frustrated with myself for not posting just because i wasn’t happy. it’s hard not to want to just put up one aspect of myself. it’s hard not to want to portray a happy girl who faces adversity with ease & elegance. i mean, don’t we all suffer? don’t we all have bad days & don’t we all cry? so why should any of us be ashamed to own up to that? i won’t keep myself from posting because i feel like crap. & i hope you don’t keep your pain hidden away either. if you’d made it this far, if you’re still reading, remember that you don’t have to suffer in silence. it’s okay to hurt. i have spent too long listening to people who told me that i needed to stop hurting. that i needed to get over myself. that i needed to be silent. & if you’re in that situation too, join me by screaming a big NO. no, i won’t be silent. no, i won’t pretend i’m okay until i am. i will own my sadness, own my pain, own my suffering, & surround myself with the people that will say “i will stand with you until you are better”.

i am doing everything in my power to be better. i suppose, maybe i will never physically improve. maybe i will always be sick. & right now, i’m so not okay with that. right now, each minute is hard to live because each minute is filled with so much pain. but i will learn & i will grow & i will try to be okay with that. i will try to find happiness in the pain. & i will surround myself with people who will help me get there, instead of silence me. nothing is worse than people that constantly de-validate you. in this space, on this blog, i reject that. you are VALIDwhat you feel is VALID. & you are allowed to hurt, as much as you are allowed to love yourself through it. we are crafted fragments, we are a mosaic of pain & wonder, right? perhaps i haven’t done the best job of encompassing our mantra, but i promise to reconnect with that & remind all of us that it’s okay to be not okay. someday, we will be a masterpiece. & we will be able to find beauty in the broken.

all my love as always, with a little extra for the bad days,

meredith.

stationary haul.

so, because i know this is a safe environment in which we all love, support, & respect one another, without judgement, flaws & all… i’m going to be as honest & open as i can. guys, i have an addiction. to stationary. & it’s reeaaaalllyyyy bad.

i blame the dollar sections at target & michaels, because it’s like they are one with my soul & know exactly what i love & neeeeeed. from sticky notes to note cards to clothespins, i am absolutely obsessed. ask the love bug, i have dragged him through the dollar spot at target debating whether or not i really needed 5 more packs of paper clips many a time. he’s a real sport. if i tell him to make me to put them back, sometimes he’ll do so, & sometimes he’ll let me splurge. i don’t know which is better… but i do know that i’m thrilled with my assortment of paper clips!!

& because i know this is an environment of support & love, i know y’all won’t judge me if i post all of my favorites from my recent collection of stationary items. haters gonna hate, but crafters aren’t gonna care over the sound of their new calendars & erasers.

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lets get right into it, because you betcha homegirl can rant her ears off about some art supplies & i want y’all to be able to go about your days eventually. so, how cute are these camera paper clips?!?!?!?! i’m sorry, but the answer is PUPPIES & PIG TAILS THAT’S HOW CUTE. the love bug bought these for me & they fueled in me a crazy love for adorable paper clips. & the rest is history.

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but also, clothespins?? like, who uses clothespins, i know, but ugh! i couldn’t resist! i was discouraged from buying 10 packs of these for my future wedding? (still regret) but alas i’ll probably end up making them myself in 2 years because i think they are cute enough to cry over. target dollar spot, you’re killing me.

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oh, also? binder clips. they kinda match the gorgeous pencils i have from target as well, so that made me love them even more. it’s like target knows. they knowwwwww. target is like catering their dollar spot to my artistic desires, & therefore draining my wallet. but i’m really not mad about it. because look. how. cute. yesterday, today, tomorrow, & someday, i will always be buying everything target puts on their shelves.

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this happens to be from barnes & noble (my other absolute favorite sanctuary of supplies), & i am in love. my darling mother, who has the most giving heart of any human that exists, bought these & a coloring book for me over the holidays, & i love them. i had been searching for watercolor pencils for a really long time, so when we found these i was super duper excited. they’re such a gorgeous range of colors & i mean c’mon, points for aesthetically pleasing packaging, barnes. a++.

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you didn’t forget about my paperclip obsession did you? well, here’s a reminder brought to you again from the target dollar spot:: arrow paper clips!!! i have some awesome craft ideas for these little guys. target, keep the paper clips coming. seriously.

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also, let me tell you a thing people. you want cute note cards? one word. michaels. another word? inexpensive. music, to all our college student ears & budgets. i probably buy about 70% of my note cards & stationary sets from michaels. they have stationary spread out throughout the store, but they always get me, as i’m walking to the checkout, & pass by that dollar section, & they have like 20 different kinds of gorgeous thank you cards & birthday cards & ever kinds of cards!!! gah. & how could you pass up this adorable cherry card for such a cheap price? i mean, i couldn’t… it’s like michaels forced me. it’s fine.

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i come from a family that loves their calendars. it’s an obsession passed down from generation to generation. as long as i can remember, my grammy, marmee, sissy & i have been making lists & collecting calendars. my moms go-to gift is totally a calendar. this year she bought me an art one, full of van gogh & monet & my other favorite artists. (thanks mom!) pretty sure last years was a sunflower calendar, my favorite flower. that woman knows how to pick calendars. this year, for my wall calendar at school, i opted for this target dollar spot calendar, duh! i just adore the simplicity of it & it’s my complete aesthetic.

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ok, this is a conglomerate of alllll my favorite sticky notes. we’ve got our geometric heart, our wood textured etc., our stormtrooper, our geometric hexagon, & our sprinkled sticky note. thanks, target. you da best.

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WHAT THE FLAPDOODLE THESE ARE STINKING CUTE. probably the cutest in the world. they’re one of my favorite colors, the happy color (yellow!) & they are eating utensils. judge me, but i probably squeal every time i remember i own these. they’re wooden & painted & that just makes them all the more rustic & precious. i really have no idea what i’m going to do with these… but, nevertheless, michaels delivered a quality addition to my newly growing clothespin collection.

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yep. paper clips again. yep. target dollar spot. yep. major lovely craft ideas in my head for these little babes. yep. obseeeeeessssssed.

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i adore clipboards, & like i’ve stated before, i love me some calendars. while i already had a wall calendar, i really wanted one i could write all my holidays on & keep memos on. this one was perfect because not only was it on a clipboard & super cute, but each month is a separate page! makes for some easy disposal, & by december i’m sure i’ll feel really accomplished. bet you can guess where i got this. yeah, target. we’re besties.

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& last but definitely not least…. macaroons! but actually, erasers! now, i’m probably never going to use them for their intended purpose. i mean, what kind of crazy person would engage in an action that would make these disappear?!? crazy crazy persons, thats who. macaroons always flood my mind with memories of french bakery visits with my bestest friend & my love bug. i’m definitely planning on a macaroon bar at our wedding, because they’re delectable & adorable. anyway, these erasers will remain on my desk with no other purpose than to exist as happy thoughts.

 

& that’s all folks! thanks, target. & michaels. & barnes & noble… container store… etc. thanks for feeding my addiction. because, i mean, it’s not so bad of an addiction to have, right? i’m pretty delighted, so i think we’re alright.

december favorites.

hello 2016!!!

how awesome is it that we’re in the new year?? i think it’s pretty great. i’m extremely thankful to have made it to 2016, & i’m incredibly excited for it as well. i think this year is going to be a good one. i’m determined to make this a happy, productive, & love-filled year. i have so many projects in mind, not only for this blog, but just even personally! i have so many things to look forward to this year. the love bug & i will hit our 1 year, i will be turning 20, i will finish up my sophomore year of university… there are holidays & landmarks & seasons i can’t wait to experience. i’m just very hopeful for 2016, & i hope you are too.

now, all that being said, we’re gonna have a little throwback here & go over my december 2015 favorites!! i’ve never done a favorites post, but they are one of my favorites to read (hah). so anyway, thought i would try it out. i only have a couple items, but they are truly epic. let’s get started!

 

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first off, my stuffed elephant engelbert! oh. my. goodness. gracious. let me tell you a thing. i love elephants so much. i just find them to be the most majestic creatures. they are emotional animals, intelligent animals, expressive animals, adorable animals, but unfortunately often mistreated animals. any video of elephant reunions or videos from elephant sanctuaries make me cry like a baby. once i saw them in real life at a zoo & i was squealing like crazy. my life dream is to be able to actually touch one & kiss its trunk & let it know that it brings me so much joy.

another life dream, was that i may have been waiting my whole life for someone to buy me an oversized stuffed animal. it was just my secret little dream in my heart. & so coming home one evening to this guy, with a sign that said “we love you, meredith” from my parents? yo. waterworks. my parents know how much i love elephants & must’ve known i had been needing a snuggle buddy to chase away the winter blues. HE IS JUST SO CUTE. & he loves cuddles. he’s the best.

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next up, my epic darth vader mug. this was a christmas gift from my darling love bug, & i absolutely adore it! darth vader is one of my favorite dark-side characters from the star wars movies. & also i collect mugs, so it’s obviously a favorite. i’ll have to drink some dark-roast coffee as i sip from this mug, heh. we can also mention how the force awakens came out in december??? it was definitely a favorite as well. we’ve already seen it twice & you betcha i’m already channeling my inner Rey on a daily basis & obsessing over BB-8. star wars is amazing.

 

 

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let’s talk about this dinosaur necklace! i got this shipped to me, & i think it’s hilariously amazing. i saw it on pinterest years ago & just always thought it would be so great to be some sort of history professor wearing a dinosaur bone necklace. i also wish i had this when i went to see the new jurassic park movie! pretty sure it’s supposed to be a t-rex, even though it looks a little wonky at times. i love it.

 

 

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coloring books are all the rave now, right? at least that’s what the lady told me when i was looking at this one. it was a gift from my mother during the holidays, & i absolutely adore it. as an art major & a lover of paris, it suits me perfectly & is said to help with stress & anxiety! this particular coloring book has so many different pages with assortments of patterns & scenery & items to color in, all themed around the elegant land of paris. i hope i get to go there some day…

 

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ok, now let’s talk about this baby. i adore youtube & video bloggers, & my youtuber of all time is Zoella! she made a favorites video a while ago, & in it mentioned this incredible, luxury hooded shimmer dressing gown from marks & spencer. honestly, i adore Zoella because her videos help me so much with my anxiety, & i truly trust her opinion when it comes to beauty recommendations or recipes or anything. i actually needed a new dressing gown (more commonly known in the US as a bath robe), because my old one was getting too small & it wasn’t very warm. i get very extremely cold due to some medical issues, so i struggle with staying warm at any given point. this dressing gown just looked so warm, it was my favorite color, & my favorite youtuber owned the same one! ugh. my heart desired it.

next thing i know, my parents bought it for me as an early birthday present! which is insane. it was definitely a splurge purchase & i am so incredibly thankful to them for it. it’s keeping me super warm & cozy… it’s like a constant hug. thank you marmee & dadee!

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i’m cracking up… i didn’t want to model it because i’m not photogenic so i put engelbert in it hahaha. doesn’t he model it well?

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& last but not least, a gift from my dadee. he just recently traveled with my older sister to mexico & he brought me back a wooden elephant! i have an elephant collection from across the world. that white elephant is one a dear friend from high school bought for me at the Taj Mahal. the little orange elephant is one of many that a friend bought for me in Africa! i have elephants from Puerto Rico, Poland, the Caribbean islands, all over the US… & i love collecting them. that way, when you travel, you know exactly what kind of souvenir you want to get. it meant so much to me that my dad thought of me & got me an elephant that is different from any other one i have in my collection, & it will remain so special to me.

 

& i suppose those are my december favorites! let me know if you like these kinds of posts… & if you want me to go about them any differently i suppose. any feedback is great! hope you are all doing well & enjoying all that 2016 has to offer so far.

love & hugs,

meredith.