i am the defender.

love only grows by sharing. you can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others.

-Brian Tracy

today, i thought we’d have a meaningful chat about personalities! if you aren’t aware, there is a test over here that you can take to show you your personality type. there are 16 different options, & each is described by a title & four letters, which reflect different aspects of your personality. i’ve taken this test many times, but i recently decided to take it again so i could read up on why i am an “ISFJ”. here is what i’ve taken away from the research i did on their website! it may help you to understand what each letter of your personality truly means. & it also may help you get to know me better! let’s get going:

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these are my results! my title is “the defender” which frankly already makes a lot of sense. i was homecoming queen one year in high school, & i distinctly remember that the first thing they said about me was that i was known for “always sticking up for the little guy, & defending those in need.”  being a defender means possessing the qualities of empathy, commitment, & loyalty in abundance & using these qualities to take care of others. taking care of others is truly what i’ve felt called to do my entire life, so to have my calling validated is pretty sweet.

to get into the nitty gritty of the letters, ISFJ‘s are described as such: “The ISFJ personality type is quite unique, as many of their qualities defy the definition of their individual traits. Though possessing the Feeling (F) trait, ISFJs have excellent analytical abilities; though Introverted (I), they have well-developed people skills and robust social relationships; and though they are a Judging (J) type, ISFJs are often receptive to change and new ideas. As with so many things, people with the ISFJ personality type are more than the sum of their parts, and it is the way they use these strengths that defines who they are.” look at me being a living contradiction! story of my life though, seriously. it does happen to be true though. while i’m big on heart & passion, i’m an extremely rational personal. while i’m very very introverted, i just absolutely love people. while i almost never make a decision on the fly or do anything spontaneous, if i have enough time to think & judge it through, i love trying new things! they also tacked on this 5th letter for Turbulent? apparently because there is a particular type of ISFJ‘s that are “meticulous to the point of perfectionism“. & if you know me well, you know this couldn’t be more right.

the stands for introverted, as opposed to extroverted. both the love bug & my roomie took this test at the same time as i did. my roomie, who is a hermit just as i, got 60% introverted. the love bug, around the same. me? 92%. oh yeah, taking introvertism to a whole new level! (that’s so not a word but whatever.) the important part about your first letter is that it describes where you get your energy from. never heard that before? well then, you’ve got introversion vs. extroversion all wrong! being introverted doesn’t mean that you don’t like people. it instead means that you draw your energy from being alone, which empowers you to spend time with people. & if you’re extroverted, being alone drains you, & you then replenish your energy by attention & affection from others.

the stands for sensing, or observant, as opposed to intuition. this is in regards to how you see the world & process info. because i’m an observant or sensing individual, this means that i’m “highly practical” “down to earth” when facing problems. it also means i form strong habits (so true), & “enjoy seeing, touching, feeling and experiencing” when taking in the world around me. an intuitive human would, on the contrary, be full of imagination & possibility when tackling problems, love taking risks instead of sticking with old habits, & look for hidden meanings & feelings instead of taking things as they are.

the stands for feeling, as opposed to thinking. rather than the previous, focusing on how we perceive the world & think, this letter focuses on how we react to & cope with emotions. a person like me with the the feeling trait follows their heart! we are “compassionate, sensitive and highly emotional”. this is so true & i’m not afraid to admit it! i hate that there is a negative connotation surrounding the word “emotional”… (grr, perhaps this is why we need feminism??? but, that’s another rant for another time.) i’m not afraid to say  yes i’m an emotional human being. & that’s an amazing thing! here is one of my favorite quotes for you guys to ponder::

“Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things.” (Zooey Deschanel)

amen sister, amen. this is how i truly feel. i feel that the world has done a lot to me to try & harden me. & i guess at times, struggling with the mental illnesses & past that i do, i do have a tendency to shut down my emotions, & feel absolutely nothing. i can transform myself into a cold rock if i want to. but i don’t want that to be who i am. i want to feel. because i can’t let someone’s cruel actions force me to be emotionless. i don’t want my coping method to be just “shutting down”. & in fact, as an ISFJ, my biggest fault is repressing my emotions & not asking for help. healing everyone else but myself. forcing myself to gulp the pain down until a later time… ISFJ‘s, we’ve got room for improvement, that’s for sure.

as a feeling individual, i “would rather cooperate than compete”, as i value the emotions & opinions of a group over personal success. however, we “are likely to fight tooth and nail for what [we] believe in.” couldn’t be more true!

the stands for judging, as opposed to prospecting. this is in regards to our planning & work methods. as a judging individual, i’m big on organization, & prefer “structure and planning to spontaneity”.  the website said judging individuals always have mental checklists… & fellas, let me tell you. i have at least 10 mental ones, & 20 physical copies of them. i’m a list freak! apparently i also have a strong work ethic, which i have been told by my teachers, but as an ISFJ of course i’m too shy to admit to it…(i just like doing my best, okay?). prospecting people are go-with-the-flow people. SO NOT ME. they’re spontaneous, & love an unexpected challenge. at 84% judging… i don’t think i’m anywhere close to loving the unexpected. there’s a reason my wedding is planned down to the catering, my future house is planned down to the copper wire baskets & what magazines will be in them, & my future kids name’s & future pet names have already been chosen. perhaps i need to learn to loosen up a bit…

now to talk about this tacked on T! it stands for turbulent, as opposed to assertive, & shows us “how confident we are in our abilities and decisions”. as someone with the turbulent identity, that means i’m basically not that confident in those areas. these are some of my biggest faults. i’m highly stressed out, & extremely self-deprecating. on a semi-positive note, turbulent’s are “success-driven, perfectionistic and eager to improve”. i’ll take it. assertive’s on the other hand are self-assured, easy going, & more confident in themselves & the choices they make.

if you’d like to know my favorite thing i read about ISFJ’s, it’s that apparently “when it comes to gift-giving, ISFJs have no equal, using their imagination and natural sensitivity to express their generosity in ways that touch the hearts of their recipients”. reading this rocked my socks!!! if you’re close to me, you’ll know that i get SO MUCH JOY from gift giving. i think one of the greatest pleasures on the earth is tailoring a perfect gift to an individual that you love. even though i hate most things about myself, i think this is the one thing i’m okay with acknowledging. if i’m gonna like one thing about myself, it’s that i try & give some pretty great gifts.

some final thoughts::

ISFJ’s:

  • don’t know when to say no or stand up for themselves.
  • are too humble & shy.
  • will remain reliable, trustworthy, & patient in any friendship or relationship.
  • repress their feelings & won’t ask for help! (i will admit, these are my biggest faults.)
  • are super practical & actually love mundane tasks.
  • overload themselves, causing panic attacks & emotional crash & burns.
  • have a capability to be practically imaginative! (dude, can that count as my super power?)
  • are reluctant to, run away from, abhor, & are afraid of: change.
  • use their experiences to encourage & help others!
  • get taken advantage of more than any other personality type…
  • will always remember what is important to those they love.

 

“Whether it is finding (or keeping) a partner, learning to relax or improvise, reaching dazzling heights on the career ladder, or managing their workload, ISFJs need to put in a conscious effort to develop their weaker traits and additional skills, [however], ISFJs are true altruists, meeting kindness with kindness-in-excess and engaging the work and people they believe in with enthusiasm and generosity.”

& that’s all folks! i guess i’m pretty happy with this research i’ve done. i feel understood, validated, & flattered! i mean honestly, everything i read up about ISFJ‘s was so true for me personally. i truly recommend you head over to this website & check out their free personality test. once you have, head back here or tweet me to let me know what you got! this process has been so intriguing & self-enlightening for me, i hope you enjoy it for yourself.

 

much love to all you beauties,

signing off as your friendly ISFJ.

 

 

 

 

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