dreamy living space, bedroom, & dining area.

since i’m a planning freak, here’s my second edition of showing you my inspiration for my future home. hope you enjoy!

living space:

it’s no secret that i want house plants!

bedroom:

basically cuddle town / snuggle central.

 

dining area:

lots of wood & plenty of light.


& that’s my ideal living space, bedroom, & dining area!

the next edition will probably be homeware & furniture & such.

hope you enjoyed!

ALL IMAGES TAKEN FROM PINTEREST.COM

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a message from your chronically ill friend.

here’s the negative.

my body terrifies me. to be chronically ill with no answers is to live in hell with nothing to show for it. loose ends, unanswered questions, constant pain but no diagnosis, belittling, misunderstanding. just a pile of symptoms & failing organs with no explanation. i don’t know if i get a tomorrow, a next year, a long life… & plenty of “it’s going to be okay” & “stop worrying, you’re fine” sentiments are shoved down my throat but the truth of the matter is that, was life ever really guaranteed to us? so many people die unfair, early deaths. & unless i live like there is no tomorrow, i will leave this earth with incredible regret. it’s just a scary life, not knowing when the next blow is gonna come. dealing with the trauma of ER visits & pain strong enough to make you wish you would just die already, even though there is nothing you want more than to live. every day, you’re faced with a battle with your own body. & i wish that there was more that i could do. people will keep telling you to be strong, but no one will tell you that it’s okay to fall apart every once in a while. everyone will tell you to just keep fighting, but no one will allow you the luxury of giving up for the day. to be chronically ill is to live in hell, but be forced to find the bright side for the sake of those around you. it’s an utterly ugly life.

 

here’s the positive.

you may not have your health tomorrow. you may not have it today for that matter. but those few moments when you have about half of your health back… when you’re doing better mentally, so you can fight harder than usual… when you can think a thought other than “God just get me through this”… you are a professional at taking advantage of those moments. your very heart knows how to love with an intensified love. your lungs know how to deeply appreciate fresh air. your skin learns to soak up every available ray of sunshine. your hair catches every breathe of wind the atmosphere provides. your spirit prays the deepest prayer of praise, because for once, it can actually peek through the pain.

you learn to leave every conversation with an “i love you”. you learn to never go to sleep with any anger in your heart. you learn not to get worked up about the little things. you learn to appreciate every little act of kindness. you learn that there’s a difference between letting go of unnecessary negativity, & allowing yourself to not force a smile every day. you learn to allow yourself to be genuine & raw. you learn to be kind to yourself, & you learn that you deserve it.

 

here’s what you should do.

there’s a reason i no longer say “it’s going to be okay” to anyone i know that’s chronically ill. the reason is that it’s almost just counterproductive to focus your “encouragement” on the situation. because, in our cases, the situation may never get better. we don’t have an end in sight. we have to fight day in & day out, never knowing if it’s going to get better, or get worse. we have to exist in the awareness that tomorrow, we may have to conjure up enough strength to endure a hospital run. maybe you’ll be lucky enough to spend that day in bed, but maybe you won’t. that’s why, when attempting to comfort someone who is in constant suffering, it’s better to steer the encouragement away from the situation.

focus on letting the individual know that you are concerned. that you know they are suffering & that you are sorry. because we are constantly invalidated, & constantly feel that no one is taking our suffering seriously. so to hear someone even just say that they are sorry, means the world. we get a lot of “you’re gonna be fine”, & “it’s gonna be okay”. even a lot of “be strong”, “you can do this”, & “you’ll get through this”. we don’t get a lot of “i’m so sorry that you aren’t fine” or “i’m sorry that it’s not okay”. we are ever allotted a “it’s okay to not be strong enough for this” or “you shouldn’t have to do this or go through this”. i know in all efforts to comfort, our original leading is to be positive. but sometimes, just to have someone acknowledge the pain you are in is the only comfort you need. & after you connect with them in this way, they are more likely to accept words of encouragement such as “you can do this”, because they know that you understand how difficult it is to do so.

 

here’s our apology.

please don’t be angry at us. please don’t call us selfish. we are fighting oh so hard to live. we are so sorry that sometimes, we don’t have the energy to make it out of bed. we are so sorry that we are not healthy enough sometimes to even walk through the mall with you. we apologize that hanging out sometimes means sitting in bed & watching netflix together, & our adventures consist of trips to the pharmacy. we may not seem like the best of friends to you, but we treasure every moment together that you allow us to have. we spend a lot of time alone with our thoughts, so we love your company. we are sorry if you don’t love ours. we are sorry that we have to be particular about the temperature of the room, the type of food we get, the brightness of the lights, the type of transportation, the amount of noise, or the environment that we’re in. any irregular situation can cause our body to spiral out of control. we hope we do not come across as selfish when we are trying to ensure that we stay sane, we stay healthy, & we stay out of the hospital. we live with full knowledge that our life is a burden. we live with the gravity of the toll that we take on our loved ones, resting on our shoulders. we know we are difficult. but try to understand, our lives are difficult, almost impossible to live. we are trying. we are sorry.

 

here’s the point.

it’s okay to not completely understand the life of a chronically ill individual. we are complicated human beings, we know. that being said, any effort to understand will help the world be a kinder place. spread awareness. educate yourself & those around you. make an effort to care for the ones you love, because you never know who is suffering in silence. give lots of hugs. keep an open mind. be understanding. we thank you, ever so much, for doing so.

 

love,

your chronically ill friend.

my top 5 favorite youtubers.

hello lovelies!

so today we’re gonna talk about a big part of my life that you maybe wouldn’t expect… it’s youtube! now let me explain:: as i’ve talked about before on this channel, i suffer from really bad anxiety & panic attacks. & a lot of the time, it’s triggered by unfamiliarity or things i can’t control. i also struggle with depression, usually in relation to my chronic illness. so the worse i’m doing physically, the worse i’m doing emotionally.

now, way back when youtube started, i was never really into it. i’d use it to listen to music mostly, or watch viral videos like “charlie bit me” etc. but when i was in high school, i found a youtuber named Bunny (youtube handle is grav3yardgirl), & that’s where my journey started. once i subscribed to her, i started finding other youtubers i really liked & whose messages i really connected to. i found that when i was having an anxious period & needed to focus on something & calm down, watching youtube videos helped me. i found that keeping up with daily vlogs helped me stay hopeful & not get too depressed. somehow, youtube has really helped me through some tough times. while i’m now subscribed to maybe 50 different channels, i still have my particular favorites that give me extra excitement & joy when they upload new videos.

all that being said, i thought today i would share with you my current top 5 favorite youtube channels! in no particular order, let’s get started:

 

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zoellafirst let’s talk about zoe sugg!! zoe is a youtuber from the UK, who’s channel focuses on beauty & lifestyle type videos. she’s one of the original people i followed, & i must admit her channel has grown drastically since! she has easily become one of the most widely known beauty & fashion icons in the UK, having released a beauty range of her own, 3 of her own fiction novels, a lifestyle blog, & having reached over 10 million subscribers. i’ll admit, i actually miss it when her channel wasn’t so huge! just like me, zoe suffers from anxiety & panic attacks, so it was always nice to watch someone who suffers like i do succeed as largely as she is. my favorite part of watching zoe is when she logs during christmas! i have never known anyone who loves christmas as much as she, & her videos are the most festive you’ll ever see. she’s just a great role model & a great youtuber, & deserves every single subscriber she has!

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bree kish: next is bree kish! i actually haven’t even been subscribed to bree for that long, but it didn’t even take a day for me to realize i loved her channel. bree happens to be a professional model that i’ve seen in different stores & advertisements, but had no idea she had her own youtube channel. i’ve been really ill lately & have been watching disney themed videos to cheer myself up, & stumbled across one of her disney videos. i immediately fell in love. not only is bree drop dead gorgeous & films lots of disney videos to fill the void in my soul, but she has the brightest smile you’ve ever seen. & it’s contagious. you really can’t be sad while you watch her videos. i just really appreciate the happy vibes & fun spirit she has going with her channel. even though i just recently subscribed, she’s a definite favorite!

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the sacconejoly’s: now let’s talk about the adorable daily vlogging family that is the sacconejoly family. i must admit i’m watching their vlogs right this second in the background while i write this post! the sacconejolys include Jonathan & Anna, & their adorable kids Emilia & Eduardo. oh, & their six maltese dogs, Albi, Sina, Theo, Biana, Nivea, and Nuvola. they are the most precious family, i swear. they really inspire me to make a vlogging channel someday, because they get to capture the sweet moments of their babies growing up! i mean, just look at them, they’re ADORABLE::

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i dearly wish my kids are this stylish someday.

basically, if you’re looking for some sweet & quite funny videos to make you happy, this channel is perfect. jonathan is so dedicated & uploads incredible quality vlogs of his every day life, & they’re so much fun to watch. he’s really been upping his creativity & editing skills lately as well, & i’m so proud of where the channel is going. it’s crazy to have the opportunity to see these kids grow up & watch their family’s every day lives! but it must be so awesome to have all these family milestones recorded. & what a treasure it’ll be for them to watch themselves back in their teen years!

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grav3yardgirl: it’s Bunny!! this is by far the youtuber that has made the biggest impact on me. honestly, when i started watching her years ago, she was also a different person. she was struggling herself with severe anxiety & depression. i started watching her videos in a time when i was also extremely depressed. watching her change has been incredible. she is now one of the biggest inspirations in my life. throughout her youtube journey, she has become such a confident & joyful person. her unique & quirky personality is my favorite, & her positive outlook is always coming across through her videos. she truly posts whatever videos she wants, from “does this thing really work” videos to “first impression fridays” to “tea vlogs” to “follow me around” videos… she truly has it all. just hearing her voice brings me so much peace because she is someone familiar that i’ve been following for years. i truly wish that someday i might have the opportunity to meet her!

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Bunny & her adorable partner referred to as “Dogman” live in texas, & constantly remind their following that it’s okay to be who you are. it’s okay to wear lots of makeup or none at all. it’s okay to play with toys as an adult, & it’s okay to tackle serious conversations as a child. it’s okay to suffer, & it’s okay to ask for help. Bunny is honestly the cutest, quirkiest, most delightful youtube personality i’ve ever watched, & her videos bring me so much joy. any time i’m feeling anxious, i know one of her videos will without fail help me calm down & put a smile on my face. love love love.

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the michalaks: & last but not least, the michalaks!! i just recently followed this channel in the last couple months & have been so shocked with the quality of footage they put out every week. stefan, hannah, & their little boy grayson are the cutest little family. they record weekly “family diaries”, which basically means they vlog every day & then combine all the footage into one video that they release on sundays. now, i’m not even joking when i say that they’re videos are better than some MOVIES i’ve watched in terms of cinematography. watch this video & you’ll see what i’m talking about. it’s incredible. in such a sweet way, stefan & hannah remind me of the love bug & i. they’re sweet little busy life in london is a joy to keep up with, as well as watching little grayson grow up! if you love awesome, & i mean aaaaawesome cinematography & gorgeous shots, as well as cute little families, this channel is a must! i’m so glad i discovered them.


 

that’s about it guys! my top 5 favorite youtubers at the moment. if you guys have any favorites, please comment them below. i love getting introduced to new youtube channels & discovering awesome videos. in fact, i kind of hope to have my own youtube channel coming up soon! what do you guys think??

i hope you’re all doing swimmingly & enjoying life to the fullest.

hugs & love,

meredith.

spring poetry.

hey lovelies! guess what??

today we’re being blessed with a guest!

& just so ya know, this isn’t just any regular guest post… today, our guest is sharing one of her poems with us! if you like spring, poetry, & new friends, you’re gonna enjoy this.

so get your warm hugs & positivity ready, cause here comes a gorgeous poem by sophie::


 

The Happy Valley

From my place up here,

in the woods, on the cliff

edge, I can see

tantalising blue glimpses of the sea.

The warm green leaves

obscure my view

and my smell is overwhelmed

by the scent of wild garlic

and bluebells that line

the stone pathway, winding

up through the trees towards the sea.

It is hard underfoot,

after a dry winter,

but it is spring now,

and I am ready.

 

This poem was inspired by my favourite place – Fowey on the south coast of Cornwall in the UK. It’s a poem about the hope of spring, and leaving behind winter and the cold, dark days. It’s a poem about loving a place and hope and spring.

 

Sophie Reid - photo

Hi, I’m Sophie! I’m a writer based in the UK. I am inspired by the sea and coast, and my favourite authors include Daphne du Maurier and J.K. Rowling. I have an MA in Creative Writing and am currently working on an adult novel, as well as a YA novel. I currently write for MuggleNet, as well as running my own sea inspired blog, Sea, Earth, Sky. When not writing, I love the outdoors, windsurfing, and reading. If you’d like to see more of my work, drop by and say hello at http://www.seaearthsky.co.uk